The Rift Within
Why Resentment Builds and How to Rewrite the Story
The Rift, the Resentment, and the Rune You Need Right Now
You know that feeling? That silent ache that builds in the background. That tension between what you want to say — and what you swallow. That’s The Rift.
It’s not always loud. Sometimes it’s the absence of something: of being seen, heard, understood.
The Rift is the quiet split between head and heart, logic and intuition, intellect and emotion. It’s grief… that didn’t ask for permission.
As Gary Zukav and Linda Francis once wrote:
“Some do not know that they are grieving, even when sorrow is the only sun that rises for them in the morning.”
Most people think they feel emotions only when they explode. But the truth?
Resentment is grief that never got a name.
What Is Resentment Really?
Resentment is a slow-drip cocktail: anger + disappointment + powerlessness served daily. Silently. Unconsciously.
As psychologist Magali Josefina Villalobo puts it:
Resentment forms when we feel unable to respond to a mistreatment, humiliation, or injustice. Left to simmer, it turns into a thirst for justice. Sometimes revenge. Always rupture.
Why It Matters
Resentment isn’t “just a feeling.” Left unacknowledged, it corrodes:
Your creativity
Your self-worth
Your capacity for intimacy
Your trust in yourself, and in others
But here’s the pivot: When acknowledged, resentment becomes a compass. It points you to the unmet needs, the hard conversations, the healing you’ve avoided.
It starts with silence. It ends in self-betrayal.
How Resentment Shows Up (Without Saying a Word)
In Relationships:
Scorekeeping: “I always do more.”
Emotional shutdown: giving less, because giving more feels like losing.
Escapist fantasies: “Life would be easier without them.”
Unspoken expectations: “If they loved me, they’d just know.”
At Work:
Sarcasm and micro-withholding
Quiet quitting, without ever calling it that
Chronic venting with zero solution-seeking
Obsessing over fairness: pay, praise, promotions
In Families:
The martyr: “I do everything around here.”
Tension masked as tradition: jokes that sting, dinners that drain
Emotional debt: “They should know what I need” — but no one says it aloud
In Friendships:
Feeling invisible after they miss a milestone
Jabs that pretend to be jokes
Cancelling last minute… just to send a message
So, Now What?
You’ve heard: “She just left.” Or “He ghosted after 10 years.”
But the truth is — we leave long before we go. We disappear emotionally before we ever walk out the door.
Is it them? Is it you? Is it culture? Pressure? Unmet needs? Yes. All of it.
But mostly, it’s the story underneath — unspoken, unexamined.
Practices That Create Shift
✨ Check in with yourself: → “What do I wish they knew?” → “Where am I overgiving?”
✨ Name it with courage: → “I’ve been holding something that’s affecting how I show up.”
✨ Be gently honest: → “I’ve felt distant. Can we talk?”
✨ Recalibrate or release: → Can this be repaired? Or do I need to let go?
✨ Use ‘I’ language: → “I feel unseen when…” instead of “You never…”
✨ Rebuild trust with consistency: → Small consistent acts restore what resentment erodes.
✨ Seek support: → Talk it out. With a coach. A therapist. A wise friend. You’re not meant to hold all of this alone.
Final Thoughts
Resentment doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means a sacred part of you has gone unseen for too long.
Not every relationship is meant to last. But every aligned one is built on truth.
So speak it. Draw the line. Reclaim your story.
Because the future doesn’t wait for the perfect time. It moves with the clear. The brave. The willing.
With love, fire, and mythic clarity,
Monique x
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